AcalaToday has been very emotional. I spent the early part of the day working with the babies. They were so good! We have come quite a ways in a short time. It had me thinking about my life here on the ranch and how much of it is about relationship and trust.I wound up here . . . no, that's not the way to say it . . . I am here because I was led here by whatever it is that moves me through the world. The first time I saw this ranch I had a premonition . . . I felt that I was going to be living here. It was just a feeling. I didn't take it too seriously. But, it happened. I could not have imagined that this is where my life would lead me. I know now that I had a rendevous with horses that had it's seeds in my childhood. It was rarely in my conciousness. If it was, I certainly didn't know what to do with it.
I have been learning that I don't have to know what to do. I am learning to trust that the important experiences in my life are there by design and I just need to pay attention and see what unfolds. I must trust that I am being guided. I know I am. (Even when I lock my keys in the trunk). My horses have taught me so much. They have provided me a place where I feel real . . . where the world seems honest and makes sense. Often, I have been moved to tears standing in the fields with them . . . sometimes, because of the beauty . . . . sometimes, because of their willingness to trust me . . . Sometimes, as today, when one leaves me to go on to a new life. Acala, one of my two-year-olds, was picked up today by her new owner. I replaced the old ratty halter she's been wearing and replaced it with a beautiful leather halter, chosen especially for her. It was time to put her in the trailer and she went in, because she trusted me. I hung out for a little while with her and then crawled out. I always feel badly about this part. I feel as though I am abandoning them. They seem to get through it better than I do.
I don't often get to see them once they leave. Today I did. I got to take her out of the trailer on the other end of the trip. I don't know about her but it made me feel better. I followed to her new home in Gilroy and got her situated. She should do well. I am the only person she has ever trusted. The two of us had to do a lot of work to make that true. Now she has had that experience. I hope that the next person can walk through that door. It's open!