The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted
Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous
and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea
Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been
screwed for the prior 4 years, in spite of having taken
measures to protect themselves from this especially
troublesome disease. Cognitive sequelae of individuals
infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not
limited t anti-social personality disorder traits; inability
to tell the truth, delusions of grandeur with a distinct
messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English
language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to
incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia;
inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional
cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography
and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical
theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical,
all-or-nothing behavior.
 
The disease is sweeping Washington, trailer parks,
and the red states. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease
originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush!