Brenda's Web Log

One of the bravest women I've ever seen

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 02 Aug 2006 10:41:00 GMT

A friend forwarded this to me yesterday 8/1, it's worth a look. I don't agree with every word, but her point is crystal clear and excellent. I only wish she was running for office. A friend pointed out this is from February, so you may have seen it:

This is amazing to find this type of free speech on Al Jazeera TV. This has to be the most clearly stated rebuke of the jihadis and their crazed mullahs that I have seen.

Here is a powerful and amazing statement on Al Jazeera television. The woman is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American psychologist from Los Angeles. I would suggest watching it ASAP because there is no way to know how long the link will be active.

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=214&ar=1050wmv&ak=null

Dirty, dirty G rated art

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 02 Aug 2006 09:55:00 GMT

Some crazed Texan playing in the dirt on his mini cooper does amazing drawings, and wants to get Kinky in Austin:

http://dirtycarart.com/index.html

Totally zen, dude!

Tons of Tangrams

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:53:00 GMT

www.gieson.com/Library/projects/games/matter

Listen up, puzzle lovers. I've got a site you're going to love.

Today's site features Tangrams, old Chinese puzzles.
You've probably seen them before, even if the name
doesn't sound familiar.

You're presented with a series of geometric shapes –
squares, polygons and triangles. The goal is to fit
them together into different shapes.

It sounds easy, but it can be quite a challenge. If
you get stuck, use the cheat option.

By the way, this is a great site for children. It will
help them with spatial relations. In other words, it
will make them smarty-pants.

hair ball bowling

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:50:00 GMT

This is fun try it!

You just wait for the cat's head to get in position and you "click", hoping for a strike . The score will accumulate ... you'll have to click the "continue" when it asks. The cat's head moves very fast. It IS addictive. Click continue after each frame:

Click here: Hairball Bowling

American Health Care

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:31:00 GMT

Two patients limp into two different American Medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever.....

TeenScreen Threatens Our Youth

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:29:00 GMT

A friend sent us the link to a fascinating website concerning the heavily promoted TeenScreen "mental health" screening program. The website exposes TeenScreen as a tool of the psychiatric-
pharmaceutical industry, a fishing expedition through which drug companies seek new revenue sources by falsely labeling teens as mentally Ill. These kids may simply have physical illnesses, diet-caused imbalances, or even normal teenage thoughts and behaviors. TeenScreen's questionnaire falsely labels up to 84% of
those screened as being "at risk" of suicide. It's no surprise that the kids so labeled are then prescribed mind-altering psychiatric drugs.

Here is the link to the website: http://www.teenscreentruth.com/

Kevin had personal encounters with diet-related "mental" illness as a child. One of his aunts was notoriously "unstable" and considered by many to be something of a "nut-case" due to her swings between depression and unprovoked rage. After suffering from this for a number of years, this aunt read somewhere that such suffering might be caused by hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). She had a medical test and confirmed this to be the case. A simple change in diet completely handled the problem! From then on out, she was a sweet, stable, happy person. Had this situation occurred nowadays instead of 40 years ago, she would almost certainly have been put on one or more dangerous psych drugs often known to induce suicidal behavior!

We believe that any person, young or old, who suffers from any condition that some may label "mental" illness should first seek competent medical, nutritional and environmental testing and advice ("environmental" referring to testing for allergies, toxins in the home or office and the like). In the vast majority of cases, such factors as previously undiagnosed PHYSICAL illness,
dietary imbalances or environmental factors such as allergies may be found to be causing the "mental" problems. These factors can be then be addressed with safe, non-psychiatric methods, to the great relief of all.

Evan, who a number of years ago ran a small private school, took on some children whose parents had been being "encouraged" to put their kids on psychiatric drugs. She turned them around by getting them off sugar, with lots of affection and understanding and by using thorough, workable study methods. Something can be done about overly wild, depressed (etc.) kids without resorting to
giving them drugs.

Let us know how you like the website and feel free to share with us your views and your own experiences in these areas.

Love, Kevin & Evan

Evan's Garden(tm)
Website: http://www.evansgarden.com/

SOUTHERN GRANDMA

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:15:00 GMT

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've also known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. He has cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

LIVING WILL INFORMATION

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 13:09:00 GMT

While I was watching the playoff games last weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Sometimes it's tough being married to a smartass.

Kissing Hank's Ass

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:40:00 GMT

http://www.jhuger.com/kisshank.mv

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: “Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever he wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

-----------------------------------------
From the desk of Karl

1. Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list Himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't use alcohol.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.

-------------------------------------------

Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary: She blushes.
John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary: She looks positively stricken.
John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears. "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary: She faints.
John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

Great music, great juggling

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:26:00 GMT

Favorite Beatles tunes, with juggling.

http://marketplace.espeakers.com/movie.php?sid=5290&aid=10558

Do Cats Go to Heaven?

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:24:00 GMT

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."

The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"

The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

Nun in Hooters

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:18:00 GMT

A nun, badly needing to use to the rest-room, walked into a local
Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and
every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the
rest-room? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there
is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she
preceded to the rest-room. After a few minutes, she came back out, and
the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round
of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did
they applaud for me just because I went to the rest-room?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you
like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the
statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

Brokeback Mountain Weekly Grocery Lists

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:16:00 GMT

WEEK ONE
a.. Beans
b.. Bacon
c.. Coffee
d.. Whiskey

a.. WEEK TWO
b.. Beans
c.. Ham
d.. Coffee
e.. Whiskey

WEEK THREE
a.. Beans al fresca
b.. Thin-sliced Bacon
c.. Hazelnut Coffee
d.. Sky vodka & Tanqueray gin
e.. K-Y gel

WEEK FOUR
a.. Beans en salade
b.. Pancetta
c.. Coffee (espresso grind)
d.. 5-6 bottles best Chardonnay
e.. 2 tubes K-Y gel

WEEK FIVE
a.. Fresh Fava beans
b.. Jasmine rice
c.. Prosciutto, approx. 8 ounces, thinly sliced
d.. Medallions of veal
e.. Porcini mushrooms
f.. 1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream
g.. 1 Cub Scout uniform, size 42 long
h.. 5-6 bottles French Bordeaux (Estate Reserve)
i.. 1 extra large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
a.. Yukon Gold potatoes
b.. Heavy whipping cream
c.. Asparagus (very thin)
d.. Organic Eggs
e.. Spanish Lemons
f.. Gruyere cheese (well aged)
g.. Crushed Walnuts
h.. Arugula
i.. Clarified Butter
j.. Extra Virgin Olive oil
k.. Pure Balsamic vinegar
l.. 6 yards white silk organdy
m.. 6 yards pale ivory taffeta
n.. 3 Cases of Dom Perignon Masters Reserve
o.. Large tin Crisco

Not that there's anything wrong with that. -b-

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 14:24:00 GMT

Here's a great web-site from the UK, it's worth a look and maybe a subscription! Awesome and clever Thanksgiving card.

Please click on the following link to see the new Jacquie Lawson greeting card :

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=EU27435977

Alternatively, please visit www.jacquielawson.com and select the Pick Up Card option in the menu. Then enter your card code, which is:

EU27435977

Our ref: JLM442791-CS / EU27435977
jacquielawson.com, PO Box 1567, Wedmore, Somerset BS28 4YD, United Kingdom.

Evolution Mockery Finds A Home

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 13:00:00 GMT

Even those who support the state BOE's decision to revise science standards have to concede that Kansas has taken quite a bit of negative flak over the move. And hey, why should Kansans be left out of mocking ourselves over the matter? The website: www.kansasmorons.com is a scream for those who want a good dose of humor and sarcasm directed at various aspects of the decision.

Note from a Kansas smartypants friend! Obviously not very evolved.

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 17 Nov 2005 12:54:00 GMT

I will be playing at Larkspur in Old Town THIS SATURDAY, November 19 from 8-11pm.

This week I will attempt a bit of avant-garde counterpoint. My left hand
will be playing strictly evolutionary themes while my right hand plays
melodies of intelligent design.

It should be a grand time for all.

Regards,

John F. Salem
316-946-1358
john.salem@kake.com

Poll Numbers

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 17:23:00 GMT

Putting the polling numbers in perspective
From: Jim Bryant <jbryant@democrats.com>
________________________________________________________________________

Cheney is now seven points behind the public beating of children

http://www.bobharris.com/index2 .

Thursday, 03 November 2005
Bush's approval rating has fallen to 35 percent
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/11/02/eveningnews/main1005982.shtml .
Maybe America is starting to realize that secret prisons and endless war aren't really the best government we can possibly hope for.

Dick Cheney, in the same poll, has a 19 percent approval rating.

19 percent.

That's two points less popular than cheating on your spouse http://www.pollingreport.com/workplay.htm and seven points behind corporal punishment http://www.pollingreport.com/workplay.htm in schools.

That's down in what can be politely called lunatic territory. As I've been pointing out for years, twenty or thirty percent of Americans believe any insane thing
http://www.thismodernworld.com/weblog/mtarchives/week_2003_06_15.html#000779 you can imagine.

Dick Cheney is now 18 points behind the number of people who believe alien beings have secretly contacted the U.S. government
http://www.cnn.com/US/9706/15/ufo.poll/ .

Bush, similarly, now trails the number of people who think astrology is scientific http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/SmartPeople.htm by five points.

Scottie McClellan, however, can still spin things: Bush only trails the aliens by two points.

jim

CDC Urgent Warning

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 16:10:00 GMT

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning
about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted
Disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous
and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea
Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been
screwed for the prior 4 years, in spite of having taken
measures to protect themselves from this especially
troublesome disease. Cognitive sequelae of individuals
infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not
limited t anti-social personality disorder traits; inability
to tell the truth, delusions of grandeur with a distinct
messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English
language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to
incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia;
inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional
cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography
and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical
theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical,
all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington, trailer parks,
and the red states. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease
originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush!

TEACHER INTERVIEW

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 15:46:00 GMT

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said:

"Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.

And I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don't come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments.

Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

And

I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps! You want me to
do all of this and yet you expect me...... NOT TO PRAY?“

Beautiful bridge

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 11:19:00 GMT

The bridge (or should it be called tunnel) goes under water to allow for movement of ships. Truly a marvelous piece of engineering. This bridge is between Sweden and Denmark. Picture taken from the Swedish side.

Noisetank : "...a whole new integrity kick!"

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 11:11:00 GMT

Wow, this is unreal. Oh, to be a horn player and need a gig this badly....

Click the link below.

http://www.noisetank.com/integrity/

Death by caffeine

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 11:07:00 GMT

This is fun, but is just barely news. Call it--a PSA? Find out how much of your favorite caffeinated drink it would take to completely do you in.

http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/

While My Ukulele Gently Weeps

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 10:46:00 GMT

This performance is amazing. I have never seen anyone play ukulele quite like this. Very inspiring.

http://www2.collegehumor.com/movies/159572/
Performer: Jake Shimabukuro jakeshimabukuro.com
Recorded by: Midnight Ukulele Disco ukuleledisco.com

Every day is a bad hair day on Oahu

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 17:08:00 GMT

I usually can't sleep on airplanes, but had no trouble on the 10 hour flight to Oahu. Getting ready to go was intense with a week's notice, so I was pretty worn out anyway. If you so desire, the car service picks you up and tries to smother you with orchids on the way to your hotel ~ sweet after the stale air of the plane.

Picked up This Week In Oahu at the hotel desk and the first thing I saw was Sea Life Park Dolphin Discovery, my first plan of attack. The parks have shuttles to take you almost anywhere you want to go, so after making reservations we caught the sea life bus the next morning. We were educated and disinfected to spend an hour petting, riding, inspecting, and kissing dolphins. The dolphins were doing tricks and talking as the trainer was yelling out proper hand motions for us. Then we walked the rest of the park and spent a long time at the huge aquarium. On the drive back the bus driver was telling us how she has to leave home at 5am to get to work at 7 and she only lives 25 miles inland. Also about how the local milk costs $8 to $9 a gallon.

Making for a long first day, we caught the bus for Paradise Cove Luau that evening. We played “Hawaiian horseshoes“, threw spears, made leis and headbands, learned hula, watched the hukilau and the sunset, then sat down for dinner and the show. There were some authentic dances and songs, but alotta “tiny bubbles/don ho” touristy things. On one song, the plastic neon green skirt with gold lame top looked authentic Archie McPhee! I like the really wild, fast Tahitian dances the best. Many mai-tai's later we rolled home listening to our native nanny telling stories and calling everyone cousin or ugly cousin. When you get on this kind of bus they keep track of your party the whole time and make sure you're on board before they leave. They won't leave you stranded.

We bought most of our beach gear at the ABC store, one on each corner in Waikiki, so we could just carry on luggage. It's the most reasonable store. The International Marketplace is closing in October for much needed remodeling, so you might find some deals there. I wanted an heirloom bracelet and found exactly what I wanted at the first stand. I haggled. Everytime we stood up to “keep looking” the price came down. In 10 minutes the price dropped $60.

It was mid-day and there was a band playing in a club on the second floor while we ate sushi in the food court. Bob is a keyboard player in a very profitable band called KC Prime, so I kept saying “I hear a job!“, but you know you can't move the whole band and the connections and the repeat business, etc. He did look at three condos, then found out one of his neices is now selling real estate. I think if he decides to go he should get an apartment and buy something after looking over the neighborhoods.

The last few days we had a car and drove Pali Hwy to Kailua. Great swimming. We met some very cool natives, if you're interested look for Shiatsu by Mark, owner of the massage school. Clients come from all over the world to see him. His parenting style is what caught our ears on the beach and we just had to meet such a great guy! He takes his kids and nephews to the beach once a week. It's not crowded in Kailua, there are single story houses with big yards and parking. The beach wasn't crowded, but there were some major parties going on in the park including one with a live band. Find the local corner store with the deli ~ fantastic. We drove shoreline all the way back, watching surfers and hang gliders, stopping at several beaches and lots of lookouts.

We hung all our snorkling hopes on Hanauma Bay and made it there very early, they close when the small parking lot gets full. After all the effort we found that the southern swells of the previous days brought so much sand in every wave that there was no visibility and no fish! The ferrets chased the roosters around while the cat slept and ignored everyone. Still worth the effort. You can rent snorkling gear about anywhere you want to go, so you don't have to haul it.

Temperature and humidity were about 85, very very windy. Every day is a bad hair day on Oahu. Didn't cool off alot at night. Fireworks on Waikiki Beach every Friday night; no shade at all during the day. Caught a glimpse of tortoises while out swimming almost any beach. Would have burned to death without my pareo, but came back with a tan instead. We managed to do alot, but there were a hundred things left over to do next time. Like the Polynesian Cultural Center, Waikiki Aquarium, all the north shore, maybe even stay in Kailua a few days and get some Shiatsu by Mark! I didn't feel like watching after an expensive camera this time and just used disposables, definately a trade off.

After dinner with the aunties, the sweetest and funniest ladies I've ever met, we caught the 10:30 pm and I slept the whole way back as well. Happily greeted by my grls, who were sure I had run away for good. Bob hung around to visit family a few days before the 4 hour drive to KC. His sister Susan and fam were in Oahu last year and sister Stacy goes every year, she's there right now in fact. Next time I want to spend a lot more time with the aunties!

GYN office auto answering system

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 16:09:00 GMT

This is really HYSTERICAL! Wonderful accent too. (Not blue)

many of you women
can say "Been there, done that, got the t-shirt" to this one.
http://carolynsplace.com/fun/ob_gynanswering.html

and have a blessed day

check out the other funny stuff on this site, well worth it

Porsche Performance

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 15:44:00 GMT

A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghinis, Jags etc., and says to the salesman "can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche. "I'll pay cash!" and starts taking handfuls of hundred dollar bills out of a carrier bag until she gets to the right price. The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away. She is back 2 days later - "I want my money back...it smells awfully bad when I use the brakes" she states emphatically. Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the
books) the manager decides to ride in the car with her in case she is not driving it properly. He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3^rd at 80 mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate. 120 mph into 4th gear, 5th at 145 mph. The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the bonnet when it reaches 170 mph. The scenery is a green blur; the G-force has him pinned to the seat. In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a train crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!) instead the pitch of the engine increases. 100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier. "Can you smell it?" she says. "SMELL IT? I'M SITTING IN IT!"

Hippo and Tortoise Love Story

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:17:00 GMT

(photos in gallery)

Absolutely adorable and amazing

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said.

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

"It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP.

"After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added.

"The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.

"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.

OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:53:00 GMT

THIS LETTER REALLY WAS SENT TO THE KS SCHOOL BOARD, PLEASE CHECK OUT THE LINK -B-

p.s. finally a religion I can sink my teeth into!

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by

Please see the rest of the article at:
http://www.venganza.org/index.htm

Hawaiya Neophyte

Brenda Lehman — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 17:07:00 GMT

My friend Bob called Sunday night before last and said he is going to Hawaii to look for a condo. He wants a second opinion and asked if I could go along...it took three astonished seconds to come up with a sure as shootin' yes. So Wednesday we head to Waikiki Beach. His half-sister Stacey is a native of, so we are going to stop in to see her family and drive up to where his parents' ashes are buried, where their house was and his dad's favorite beach Devil's Cove.

We're going to the Paradise Cove Luau Thursday night, and I'm planning to take some hula lessons at the Polynesian Cultural Center. We're staying at the Aston Coconut Plaza. It sounds like fun.

This is my first trip to Hawaii and I've been worrying about my porcelain-white skin. So we have the spf 50, big hats, and sunglasses. I tried to go to the tanning salon, but alas it's either a tiny drop in a big bucket or it's fried. They should not let teenagers run these salons! I only had a week's notice though. I'll never go again after reading about them.

Any suggestions for activities on Oahu?

World Cafe

Brenda Lehman — Tue, 26 Apr 2005 16:59:00 GMT

I was listening to World Cafe on PBS the Sunday before last and was really impressed with a song called “Mercy Now”. It is the title song from an album by Mary Gauthier. It is well worth looking into in your favorite search fashion, I found it here with sound clips: http://www.thestore24.com/Music/Album.aspx?p_id=P+++366516&a_id=R+++726802&prodid=LHWYB000357002.2

I love acoustic guitar. Speaking of which, Leon Redbone played here the other night in an old theatre that is under restoration. The blues society hosted and part of the proceeds went to the PAT fund, a long-time local blues man who passed away last year. The fund was set up to help local musicians who might need financial help occasionally. Four families were helped last year by the fund. Anyway, Leon was on guitar, there was a coronet and a piano player. He is so funny, great sense of humor, almost in the vein of Twain!

Pizza in 2010...audio

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:26:00 GMT

This is quite interesting and a little bit scary. It doesn't

actually seemed too far fetched any more either.

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

Newspaper readers

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:04:00 GMT

thanks to my aunt in Miami!

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who
run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think
they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think
they should run the country and who are very good at
crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought
to run the country but don't really understand The
New York Times. They do, however, like their
statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could
find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents
used to run the country and did a far superior job
of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who
aren't too sure who's running the country and don't
really care as long as they can get a seat on the
train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't
care who's running the country as long as they do
something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are
running another country but need the baseball
scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people
who aren't sure there is a country ... or that
anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all
that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions
if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist
atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens
from any other country or galaxy provided, of
course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped
in line at the grocery store.

12. None of these are read by the guy who is running
the country into the ground.

Elmer Fudd's granddaughter

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:44:00 GMT

A precious little girl walked in to a pet shop and asked in the sweetest
little lisp between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep
widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melted, he got down on his knees so that he'd be
on her level and asked her, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft
and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit
over there?"

She, in turn, blushed, rocked back on her heels, placed her hands on her
knees, leaned forward and said in a quiet voice, "I don't think my python
weally gives a thit."

Social Security Calculator

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 17:18:00 GMT

A new Social Security calculator allows Americans to simply plug in their average annual salary and year of birth and see a side-by-side comparison of the benefits between the Bush Privatization Plan and the current Social Security system. The calculator shows the expected annual benefits under both systems, the difference between the two plans as well as the percent reduction that Americans will face under the Bush Privatization Plan.

Click here or on the picture to the right.

Bush video on Fascism

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 17:16:00 GMT

From a friend:

I think you will find this short video of interest, in case you haven't already seen it. Although quite succinct, I found it powerful and alarming, and important for people to start seeing more clearly where we are headed as a nation.

http://bushflash.com/14.html

Best screen cleaner around, but it smells like tuna?

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 16:56:00 GMT

If the screen on your monitor is a little smudged just run this program and
it will clean it right up.

http://www.clean-your-screen-for-free-now.com/

Ride in an F-14 anyone?

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 23 Feb 2005 16:52:00 GMT

Below is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in an F-14 Tomcat. If you aren't laughing out loud by the time you get to "Milk Duds," your sense of humor is broken.

----------

Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have... John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity...

*Move to Guam...Change your name...Fake your own death!*

*Whatever you do...Do Not Go!!!*

I know. The US Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.

Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He's about six-feet, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast!

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ("T-minus 15 seconds and counting....." Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, "We have liftoff."

Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning. "Bananas," he said. "For the potassium?" I asked. "No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot. but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to impress Nicole Kidman, this was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would "egress" me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.

Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.

It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, sap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us. We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.

And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that did not even want to be gressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.

I used to know cool. Cool was John Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Greg Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know cool. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.

A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flight suit. What is it? I asked.

"Two Bags."

The Parrot

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 19 Nov 2004 16:57:00 GMT

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse
vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was
rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried
and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music
and anything else he could think of to "clean up "the
bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and
the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in
desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot
squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly
there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a
minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly
opened the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched arms and said,
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude
language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful
for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude
and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's
attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

You have got to check out these sites!

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 19 Nov 2004 16:53:00 GMT

the video clip on this site is: priceless:

http://www.youforgotpoland.com/

From SFGate, so not all y'all saw it there:

Dear world: We are so very, very sorry. For Bush. For our bitterly divided and confused nation. For what's to come. Please know that tens of millions of us did not vote for him. Please do not hate us. Not all of us, anyway. OK, maybe Utah. Do you know where Utah is? Never mind.

sorryeverybody.com

Pictures are apparently flooding into the site from around the world, full of messages of "It's OK" and "Thanks for trying" and "Just don't let it happen again" and it's even spawned a European response page called apologiesaccepted.com

the creators are receiving reams of hate mail from the BushCo Right of sufficient vehemence and vitriol that it's even spawned a creepy 'n' crude "We're Not Sorry" countersite

I haven't been able to reach the countersite, their server was down! Enjoy them all, they're really a hoot!

-b-

"Humor - new definitions"

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 27 Aug 2004 10:32:00 GMT

via my email (via BartCop forum)

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

WELCOME TO UKULELES FOR SANITY

Brenda Lehman — Fri, 27 Aug 2004 10:24:00 GMT

This is interesting! Life makes sense again:

http://ukesanity.org/about.htm

The smallest voice can be a mighty force. Particularly when that voice is
speaking defiantly against a greedy, duplicitous and fraudulent ruler.

And when that greedy, duplicitous, fraudulent ruler is also one of the
dumbest human beings ever to sit in the oval office, there's only one small
voice that makes sense.

..The ukulele.

<snip>

Talked to Beth last night...

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 11:25:00 GMT

She just finished working on a custom ordered mosaic tile piece that she had just delivered to the new owners. I will post pictures as soon as I can get my virtual hands on some. I can't wait to see it. It took substantially longer to do than she expected because it was not attached to clay like her other mosaic pieces. I think we need a gallery of her work, don't you?

Other than that, she's preparing for classes to start, and all the wonderful administrative hassles, I mean opportunities, that go along with faculty life. She got a great promotion to be a gallery director and will now be involved with putting together the shows there at Galveston College. A bit more money, a bit more work. She kindly called to let me know that Brave Combo is playing in my neighborhood tonite. Thanks for the heads up!

I saw her this summer around the 4th of July. She looked great, thin and tan (grrrr), and was having a good time at her parents house visiting with her brother, nephews and nieces. An excellent buffer from raw Dadness. We were comparing notes and found our fathers to be tempermentally-identical twins. She's too dang humble about her work though. We wanna see more...please brag!

Baptist Cowboy

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 10:37:00 GMT

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three bottles of beer and sits
in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes
them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a bottle goes
flat after I open it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in
Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two bottles. All the regulars take
notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he
laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's just that my wife and
I joined the Baptist Church in Longview and I had to quit drinking . Hasn't
affected my brothers though...

The dentist

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 10:32:00 GMT

A man and woman meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide
to go back to the woman's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off
his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and
washes his hands again. Watching him, the woman says, "You must be a
dentist."

Surprised, the guy responds, "Yes... how did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replies, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing leads to another and they make love. Once they're done, the
woman says, "You must be a really good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego, says, "Well yes, I am a good dentist.
How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

Soldering Surprise

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 10:28:00 GMT

You've gotta see the amazing video clips of this:

<snglist@snglist.msfc.nasa.gov>
NASA Science News for August 16, 2004

There's nothing routine about working in space, as astronaut Mike Fincke
found out recently when he did some soldering onboard the International
Space Station.

FULL STORY at

http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2004/16aug_solder.htm?list143260

Science@NASA stories are available in Spanish at our sister site,
Ciencia@NASA <http://ciencia.nasa.gov/>.

GRANDPARENTS

Brenda Lehman — Thu, 19 Aug 2004 10:08:00 GMT

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled
with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating
them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt
down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek.
"Freckles are beautiful!"

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing
that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his
grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
*****************************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*****************************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
******************************************************
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour
it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun
for me, so I continued.

At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
******************************************************
When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
insects.

Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights."
*******************************************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four"

Todd Rundgren returns

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 04 Aug 2004 13:07:00 GMT

In an amazing blaze of the old Rundgren majic, he has released a new album called (is there a theme here?) “liars.”

The music ranges from electronica to nu-jazz to R & B to soul, so if you don't like the first song, keep going you'll hit your genre before long. The lyrics are obviously deeply felt and great poetry. His voice is still as sweet as honey. His statement on the back cover:

“All of these songs are about a paucity of truth. At first they may seem to be about other things, but that is just a reflection of how much dishonesty we have accepted in our daily lives. We are raised from birth to believe things that cannot be proven or that are plainly not true. People will often brag of their honesty, when there is so much they have simply chosen to ignore or leave unexamined.

The fact is, we are terrified of the truth.”

He's right about me, I'm terrified of the truth of where we are and are going, in this country. Kerry/Edwards tallyho!

Take Heart!

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 04 Aug 2004 12:37:00 GMT

http://www.zogby.com/news/ReadNews.dbm?ID=850

Great news from zogby. My impression is that if they can't win with their jerry-rigged track-less voting machines, then they will cancel the election “for a year”, like the bogey man will not be aware of the election date a year from now! They're sure using their noodle on this one.

Flip flops are summer footwear, but a liar is a liar

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 04 Aug 2004 11:55:00 GMT

Bush Flip Flops

As seen on Daily Kos:

Bush is against campaign finance reform; then he's for it.

Bush is against a Homeland Security Department; then he's for it.

Bush is against a 9/11 commission; then he's for it.

Bush is against an Iraq WMD investigation; then he's for it.

Bush is against nation building; then he's for it.

Bush is against deficits; then he's for them.

Bush is for free trade; then he's for tariffs on steel; then he's against them again.

Bush is against the U.S. taking a role in the Israeli Palestinian conflict; then he pushes for a "road map" and a Palestinian State.

Bush is for states right to decide on gay marriage, then he is for changing the constitution.

Bush first says he'll provide money for first responders (fire, police, emergency), then he doesn't.

Bush first says that 'help is on the way' to the military ... then he cuts benefits.

Bush-"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. Bush-"I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care.”

Bush claims to be in favor of the environment and then secretly starts drilling on Padre Island.

Bush talks about helping education and increases mandates while cutting funding.

Bush first says the U.S. won't negotiate with North Korea. Now he will.

Bush goes to Bob Jones University. Then say's he shouldn't have.

Bush said he would demand a U.N. Security Council vote on whether to sanction military action against Iraq. Later Bush announced he would not call for a vote

Bush said the "mission accomplished" banner was put up by the sailors. Bush later admits it was his advance team.

Bush was for fingerprinting and photographing Mexicans who enter the US. Bush after meeting with Pres. Fox, he's against it.

Stop Mad Cowboy Disease!

Brenda Lehman — Wed, 04 Aug 2004 11:48:00 GMT

Ø                  Drunken frat boy drives country into ditch.
Bush/Cheney: Malice in Blunderland
Let's bomb Texas, they have oil too.
How did our oil get under their sand?
If you can't pronounce it, don't bomb it.
Daddy, can I start the war now?
1000 points of light and one dim bulb.
Sacrifice our SUV's, not our children.
Preemptive impeachment.
No George, I said Mac Attack.
It's still the economy stupid.
Stop the Bushit.
Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld: the asses of evil.
$1 billion a day to kill people -- what a bargain.
Consume --Consume --Bomb --Bomb --Consume --Consume
Disarm Bush too.
Big brother isn't coming -- he's already here.
Empires fall.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind (Gandhi).
Impeach the squatters.
Mainstream white guys for peace. (Sign held by three
mainstream-looking white guys)
Hans Blix -- look over here.
Let Exxon send their own troops.
There's a terrorist behind every Bush.
We can't afford to rule the world.
War is so 20th century!
9-11-01: 15 Saudis, 0 Iraqis.
Drop Bush not bombs.
I asked for universal health care and all I got was this lousy stealth bomber.
America's problems won't be solved in Iraq.
War is not a family value.
Colorfully dressed drag queen carrying a sign that says: I am the bomb.
Picture of the peace symbol: back by popular demand.
A picture of Bush with a red-stained upper lip: Got blood?
A picture of Bush saying "Why should I care what the American people
     think? They didn't vote for me."
A picture of Bush saying "Ask me about my lobotomy."
Beneath a picture of a menacing soldier pointing his rifle/bayonet
     toward the viewer: Say it! One Nation under God. Say it!
What would Jesus bomb?
A village in Texas is missing its idiot!

Stop Mad Cowboy Disease!